Breathwork and Me
Breathwork has, in this moment, changed my life!
It came to me through multiple channels over many months, and I am so grateful I finally just tried it.
In this post, I go through my journey to breathwork. It is my personal story.
How Breathwork Came Into My Life
Late 2019, I started hearing more and more about breathwork – through the podcasts I listened to, the blogs and books I read, and emails I’d receive from people I love to follow.
It felt like I was being pushed toward it. It was hard to ignore, which I guess was the point.
I finally gave in when an email came to me from a business email I got from someone I really liked.
They were signing people up for a free breathwork session…
…so of course I got on the list!
I was so excited.
I got a few emails filled with information about what to expect, how it works, the science behind it.
I soaked it all in.
My First Session
When the day came, I got all comfy in my little sanctuary in my house – turned on the salt lamp; grabbed a crystal and set my intention; placed a blanket over me; and grounded to the earth, settling my excited energy.
I also made sure to tell my wife what I was doing and to not disturb me. I took it all very seriously.
I started the active breathing, and it felt good.
There was music and a cool sound built into the music letting you know when to breathe in and when to breathe out.
After some time of this over and over, I was told to take a huge breath in, in, in…
Now this part I am a little fuzzy on. I was either told to release my breath or hold it in.
Either way, I was to hold my breath as long as I could – no breathing in or out. Just hold.
In the previous emails, I was told there are people out there that can hold their breath for many minutes at this time, so I was encouraged to do the same.
I did.
I lasted longer than I thought.
When I did finally breathe again, I was so disappointed in myself for giving in to this urge.
I didn’t feel good after doing it.
I really couldn’t feel a difference physically, energetically, or mentally.
Once it was done, I never thought about doing breathwork again.
I thought this was what breathwork always was and that it just wasn’t for me.
Moving On
Over the next year, I did keep hearing about it on podcasts, but I didn’t even think about trying it again.
Why would I? It was hard and felt kind of shitty afterward.
Fast forward a year and a bit, and I was faced with breathwork again.
I was working my way through a fabulous course online and one of the added bonuses was that the instructor put in breathwork sessions every few weeks.
I was hesitant, but I really trusted this person.
I listened to all the videos they put out about breathwork, and this time it sounded different.
It sounded more inviting and calmer.
Hearing the stories this person had during and after the breathwork sessions made me curious again. They made it sound like I could do it and that I could benefit from it.
I wanted to give it another try. What did I have to lose?
Breathwork was being shoved in my face, so I had to give it another go.
My Second Breathwork Session
Over a year after trying breathwork and deciding it wasn’t for me, I was trying it again.
I do remember being excited about the experience again, but also trying so hard not to expect anything.
Sometimes my expectations are so high and my disappointment can be pretty devastating.
I thought I’d just try it this way and see how it goes.
This time I was instructed to lay down and to be super comfy.
I will note here that I was in my own home because it is covid times, and I haven’t done an in person class for anything in over a year. This was from a pre-recorded video.
There was a grounding meditation first, then intention setting, and then the music started.
The active breathing was different from my first try.
I quickly caught on, and it felt good immediately. Good in a meditative, relaxing kind of way.
I do not remember everything that happened during this session, but I will share what I do remember.
I started seeing images in my mind’s eye. These images were deeply painful and sad. I bawled. I cried so much in this first session.
The images and feelings that were coming up were things I had not yet dealt with even though I thought I had. They were buried so deep within me, I thought I was okay with them.
I was instructed at one point to scream, so I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it so hard and loud and long. My throat and voice were a little strained the next day – oops!
And then I started crying again.
There was then a cool down when the active breathing stopped and I could resume regular breathing.
To this day, this moment feels like right after you have done an extra hard and sweaty workout. Maybe you are stretching after or walking, but it’s this magical time when all that built up energy is released and the body feels calm, quiet, peaceful.
To me, this is what pure bliss feels like!
More Breathwork Sessions
I have since done many more breathwork sessions and the results are continually amazing.
The one I want to share with you the most is a time when I had a really bad experience with someone I knew. It was a stupid, shocking, and dramatic time and I am not usually a part of these things.
It really took a toll on me. I couldn’t sleep at night, and I couldn’t stop thinking about this person in very negative ways. It was a terrible time.
I had the idea to do a breathwork session relating to this event and this person. The intention I made before I started was to release all ill will I had toward this person and the situation.
I really didn’t think it was going to do much, but I was desperate. Thank goodness for desperation!
I got through the session and slept my first full night in about a week, and I, honest to goodness, forgot about this person and the situation.
There was no longer that charged emotion that came with thinking of it. This was a major release.
It immediately changed my perception of the whole thing. It sounds so unreal and impossible, but it really happened. I felt lighter and more free than I had in a long time the day after that session.
I have done maybe ten sessions now, and I can never predict how the session will go or what the outcome will be. One thing I do always know is that one is never the same as the next.
I do believe I get out of each one exactly what I need when I need it and that the magic of these sessions goes on long after they are finished. This is what all sessions have in common.
In case you can’t tell, I highly recommend breathwork to everyone!
Reflection On My First and Second Sessions
There was quite a difference between my first breathwork session and my second. They were totally different from each other in many ways.
Looking back now, I can see the first time I tried it, the type of breathwork just wasn’t for me. It had an energy of push harder, go faster, do do do, go go go. This is more of a masculine energy.
The second session was more intuitive, go with the flow, and trusting which would be considered a more feminine energy. I do better in a feminine energy in most environments at this stage in my life, so this makes perfect sense.
The first type I tried just wasn’t for me; the second one was.
I invite you to look into breathwork if you feel you are being called to it.
Keep an open mind and know that if one doesn’t feel good, there is another one out there that will.
It could be the instructor that you don’t mesh with, or it could be the technique.
Keep looking and stay curious. You will find what you need!
Final Thoughts
My whole life has changed since I have tried this version of breathwork. Even the way I look at life has changed. Everything feels softer. The once hard edges have worn away.
I feel so connected to my body and something bigger at the same time.
I feel a deep love and trust with the Universe and myself, and that is pure magic.
Breathwork can help with your menstrual symptoms too. In the easiest sense, breathwork decreases/releases stress that is held in your body.
Stress is a major cause of hormonal imbalance and menstrual problems.
By decreasing and releasing this stress, your body will have an easier time reaching balance. You are supporting your whole body system with breathwork!
Have you already experienced the power of breathwork? I would love to hear about your experience.
Connect with me and share your story! info@veganholisticnutrition.com
Yours in plant love,
Carly
